Thursday, March 23, 2006

The amazing finds on the iTunes Music Store...

Deep down in the bowels of the iTunes Music Store are some of the most hilarious songs ever created and put on CD...and they are yours for only $0.99 each!

What songs? What songs? you scream at me, so excited to know what craziness exists on iTunes you can hardly stand it.

Try a search for "Arnold Schwartzenegger."

Arnold Schwartzenegger!!! you scream at me again, in total disbelief. (And with every right, I wouldn't believe me either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes/heard it with my own ears...) [Turns out there's another person I know who wouldn't believe me purely on principle, but that's a little jab I had to stick in there to poke fun at said person...sorry for the digression. Back to "Ah-nold".]

No. I'm not joking. Would I kid about something as hilarious as this? I think not. Seriously. There is an album entitled Arnold Schwartzenegger's Total Body Workout. The cover features the current Governor of California in a pink muscle-tank with high-rise pink shorts and a wicked 80's haircut, leaning on some free weights. So classic, I might just fall out of my chair. [And yes, for the record, I did in fact say "wicked." The Minnesotan in me is getting pushed aside by the new Bostonian emerging inside...craziness.]

The actual "music" on the album (oh yes, there's music) is from various artists singing our favorite 80's tunes, and dubbed over these tunes is Arnold's voice counting leg-lifts in a set or the amount of lunges you've done so far with him on his album!!! Can you even believe it??? You must check this out. It's the most hilarious thing I've heard in quite some time now!

And because iTunes only gives you about 30 seconds of any given song, all you really hear is a bunch of stuff that Arnold says totally out of context, dubbed over a classic 80's pop song. It's actually pretty easy to let your mind wander into the good old gutter when listening to this stuff. And what makes it even funnier is the total lack of emotion or interest in Arnold's now-famous accented voice. Truly worth the last 15 minutes I've spent listening. [I did actually fall out of my chair the first time I heard Ah-nold saying "Don't use your legs" and "And go for that stretch" over the top of 867-5309/Jenny and when I heard "5 more...up, down, up, down, up, down...and one big one...yes" over top of Journey's Don't Stop Believing .]

This is too much! you say to me, between gasps for air as you laugh yourself almost to death at the mere thought of what I've just described to you.

And to you I say:
Access iTunes.
[If you don't have it, you know a friend who does, and they'll appreciate this as much as you do.]
Search Pop and Artists for "Arnold Schwartzenegger" [Make sure to spell it right!]
And listen and laugh to your heart's content.

You don't even have to pay the $0.99 per song for this's all there, free for your listening pleasure. [And, let's be serious, it wouldn't be as funny if you had the whole song to listen to...too much real context.]

Isn't it spelled "Schwarzenegger?"
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